Am looking at me in the mirror, days have gone so fast. Those wrinkles are adding a number each dawning day. Am still upright, though not as energetic as I was. It’s a great day am looking forward to. My children, 9 of them, five girls and four boys shall be gathering tomorrow, with their children. It has grown to a huge family. The last time we gathered like this was three years ago, when laying my dear late wife to rest. It looks like yesterday. I was 85 then. Life hasn’t been the same without her. She succumbed to breast cancer. Having battled with the monster for 3 years. It was the most difficult of times. We have had difficult ones before, but this was unbearably trying. When I watched her in pain on that hospital bed, I knew am loosing a friend, a confidant, a sister I never had.
The day she slept to no awaking, she held my hand, prayed for me and the children, little did I know it was her goodbye. She prayed that I would find peace in her absence, that I will be a unifying factor to the children and that in my old age I’d find the strength to carry on. I left the hospital during the final visiting ours of the day, 1800hours, hoping to find her smilling through pain the following day. But I found an empty bed. Nothing on that bed.
I knew she was gone, gone for good. I’d not see her again in this life. No more. I collapsed on the seat by that bed. Men shouldn’t cry, so it is in our community. How I wished I could change things, my heart ached, it bled blood, till it bled water. Pain, pain, pain.
Life had to get going, we planned for the burial. The solemn ceremony was conducted. I drew hope, I drew hope in the sermon Fr. Kariuki preached; dear ones, as we gather today, to bid farewell to our fallen fellow soildier, let us be reminded, we shall all fall asleep someday. It is a painful and sad experience that we’ll have to endure someday. May we find strength in this, that though we sleep, we shall awake someday. In new glory and life. As Christ was gloried, so shall we all be crowned in eternity if we die in Christ Jesus. Amen.
I knew, my day would come too. It would be a glorious day, for I shall be put to rest from all hadles of this world. So we laid her to rest. Gathered in the evening to comfort one another and pray. Life has rolled on. My children have been my light, they have lit my most darkest moments. For in their smiles, in their eyes, I have seen the unbeatable strength that was in their mother, my late wife. The Lord rest her soul peacifully.
As I look through the mirror, all my days seem like yesterday, flown so fast. Am all grey, can hardly do a thing for myself. Oh if youthfull days would listen and give my strength back. But I delight in the wisdom that comes with age. As for her prayer on that bed, I have found strength, peace and have been a source of unity for my family, our family.
Tomorrow, I look forward to the gathering. As we celebrate her 3rd anniversary, I so much desire to join her, does she miss me like I do? Has she been crowned and clothed in angelic righteousness? How is her life in that other world? If I could be taken home today, or in my sleep, sleep to no awake, I’d join her in worship, just like in those days we sang in the choir in our thirties, how beautiful it could be!
My children, our children would celebrate our lives in a single day and ceremony, it would keep them together, unified, strengthened, loving each other, desiring to live like Mummy and Daddy.
I see flowers, beautiful flowers, gathered by the river, flowering more beautifully, oh what beauty awaits me.